Eighteen
When we were younger, we had this expectation that we'd be engaged by 19, married by 20, kids by 23, or something like that. We know now that we were crazy to think that, but a part of us still wishes it were happening. Now I didn't want to be engaged by 18 but I did have things I thought would work out for themselves that didn't.
Majority of us had these plans of where we were going to be in our lives by this age. Most of us aren't where we want to be. Even though we're on the right track, it doesn't keep the disappointment from being there.
Personally, I feel so behind. I know I'm not for my age, but I know I'm behind for where I want to be. I'm in this state of working all the time and when I'm not working, I don't have the energy to be doing the things that will get me where I want to be. Make it make sense, I know. You're probably thinking something along the lines of "just do it anyways". But would you?
In this past year I spent a lot of time learning how to balance life with a relationship and then relearning how to balance without one. Understanding that no matter how it ends, love always has meaning. Valuing the lesson that to feel means you care. To feel also means to feel like the world is ending for a week or two or three or more, but eventually, you get over it.
After getting over it I leaned into something called independence. Which by definition means "not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence". Sometimes your option is to do it by yourself or not do it at all. How boring would it be to miss out because someone isn't holding your hand while you cross the road? I took this one a little seriously and went to Vermont on a solo trip.
As behind as I feel, for all the things I didn't do, there was something that I did. The things I did turned out to be far greater accomplishments.
Learn to turn that one step forward three steps back, into three steps forward and one step back. Don't take for granted that one step back because without it there is no growth.
18 Things I Learned At 18
Love is just a word until someone gives it meaning.
Lightning is still scary.
People believe what aligns with how they want to feel about you.
Being outside is way better than being inside.
Social media is extremely overwhelming. Even Pinterest. Post when you have something to post and treat it like a digital scrapbook. It's more fun that way.
Compliment strangers.
If you're afraid of the fall, then make yourself fly.
Country music is actually really good.
If you want more money, make more money.
The amount of playlists I have accurately represents how busy my mind is.
Utilize what you're good at.
A relaxed day is not a wasted day. (I'm Still Working On This One)
Montana coffee is gross (sorry Taigen) and Vermont coffee is good.
Do what's best for you, even if it's not what everyone else is doing.
Get comfortable doing things alone.
If you aren't proud of how you got there, then you didn't succeed.
Complete the small tasks first. That's why you're still stressed when working on the larger one's dumb ass.
Clean space is a clean mind.
Eighteen is the conclusion to our pilot episode. After that is when it all really begins. New expectations, new routines, new beginnings, new experiences, just new. We have full seasons ahead of us. Why worry so much about the first episode?
As eighteen becomes nineteen, seek and embrace opportunities but fulfill only what is fitting. Just because you don't go forward with one opportunity doesn't mean you won't be presented with a new one. The climb is greater than the fall.
We are the artists to our life. We are lucky enough to get the chance to paint our own pictures. Whatever is thrown at us, we get the choice to make it something beautiful, even in hardship. We get the choice to paint a way out in the middle of a rainstorm. You are the source of light to your own life. You are your own happiness. As eighteen becomes nineteen, continue to be the sun.
Now wait a minute... didn't I say something about how no artist makes art without intention in everything that they do?
Welcome to Twenty Three By Kait.
